President Donald Trump announced today in the White Houses Rose Garden that he would be going vegan immediately for the planet, his health and most importantly of all the animals!
The 45th president of the United States had this to say of his new ethical and moral stance:
“Being vegan is a tremendous breakthrough that I always knew was the best thing in the world to do because I have a smart brain and know what is right.”
He went on:
“I love carrots they’re the greatest fruit anyone could ever choose to eat, if it’s good enough for bugs bunny who can stare down the barrel of a gun and laugh it’s good enough for me.”
Many experts have weighed in on whether or not his signature orange complexion is from his overzealous love for carrots or if he has always indulged in vegan spray tanning.
Trump also blamed Obama for his not being vegan sooner:
“If Obama hadn’t been so militant about his plant-based eating I would have been vegan so much sooner. Obama helped kill so many animals I ate from a bigly steak to the beautiful beautiful just best in the whole world foie gras. Obama is a true monster for making me feel guilty for eating animals.”
While the president ranted about Obama the press caught his ire too.
“CNN keeps pushing the fake news I hate so very much but they were right about climate change being a crisis. I was wrong and even Jesus was wrong once so we live and learn they say. That’s what they say you know? You know the saying? We live and learn.”
The first vegan president of the United States is Republican who knew?
April Fools Duh